***Please note: I am resending this week’s email because a paragraph went missing between drafting and publication. I think the tech gremlins ate it. Or, more likely, I did something in error. Either way you need that paragraph to make sense of the piece. So here it is again with the missing link.***
Sojourner Truth delivered her most well-known speech at the Woman's Rights Convention in Akron, Ohio, on May 29, 1851. The most famous version of that speech titled, "Ain't I A Woman," known for using Southern slave dialect, was an account provided by Frances D. Gage 12 years after Truth delivered the speech.
When Truth gave her speech in 1851, Gage was president of the Woman's Rights Convention, and she was considered a staunch abolitionist and women's rights advocate at that time.
But Gage's version of the speech, the most famous version, is not the one Truth delivered.
Earlier recorded accounts published within weeks of the convention show that Truth did not speak in the Southern slave dialect at all. And, she never asked the most famous question of Gage's version, "Ain't I a woman?" Instead, Truth made a much more powerful declaration: "I am a woman's rights."
Given the dramatic differences between the accounts of Truth's speech, it's hard for me to resolve the cognitive dissonance of Gage's reputation as a women's rights advocate and abolitionist with her version, which makes Truth appear less intelligent than she was.
At first, I thought the issue might be memory. It was 12 years later, and Gage may have just recalled the speech incorrectly.
Unfortunately, when I go down that road, I'm led to believe that Gage didn't see Sojourner Truth for the amazing woman she was. She saw a cause: a black woman who wasn't as sophisticated, worldly, or intelligent as she. Therefore, Gage was doing God's work as an abolitionist by bringing attention to her memory of the speech.
I didn't like that path.
Then, I thought, given the timing of the publication of Gage's version during the height of the Civil War, maybe Gage meant to galvanize more white people to join the fight against slavery by retelling the speech in Southern slave dialect.
But then that leads me down the road of white saviorism, the belief some white people hold that it is their responsibility, as superiors, to support and uplift communities of color because we lack the intelligence, resources, and willpower to do it ourselves.
I'm not fond of that avenue of reasoning, either.
We may never know why the accounts of the speech are so different. What we can see, though, through this example is the importance of telling our stories ourselves.
The Importance of Telling Your Story
There is a lot of talk in coaching spaces about speaking your truth and sharing your story as a vehicle for personal empowerment. While true, speaking your truth is also vital because if you don't do it, someone else may.
Those other versions will include the author's motivations, agendas, and ideas. Whether those motivations are good or bad, they will likely differ greatly from our truth, and we get to tell our truth. No one else does.
How To Tell Your Story
So, how do you tell your story? Susan Cain of The Quiet Revolution provides some guideposts.
She suggests that we "declare ourselves" to our colleagues at work, meaning we share our vision for our work and the philosophy behind it with them.
We also must share our story with our families and friends. Years ago, when I was dealing with some mental health issues, I remember my mother telling me stories about other women in my family who faced similar challenges. While those stories helped normalize my experience then, I wish I had heard them sooner. I probably wouldn't have felt so ashamed and alone for so long if I had. Sharing out stories of our histories within our families matters.
Finally, Susan suggests that we tell the truth of our stories to ourselves. I've been echoing this sentiment for years now. If you tell yourself the truth about your experiences, feelings, and the role you played in the circumstances of your life without shame or judgment, you begin to trust yourself. Once you trust yourself, you can trust your judgment and intuition without second-guessing or surveying the room for everyone else's opinion.
Self-trust is one of the most essential skills we should cultivate as adults, and it all begins with telling ourselves the truth.
So what's your next move? How will you begin to tell your story?
You can start by telling me in the DMs or replying to this email. I'd love to hear from you.
In power and solidarity,
Toya