Coaches talk a lot about limiting beliefs — deeply held beliefs that limit our ability to strive for more.
The idea of limiting beliefs is important because it helps us see where we are getting in our own way, so we can continue to evolve.
However, when coaches misunderstand (or don’t bother trying to understand) the experiences of women of color, they can misconstrue internalized oppression as a limiting belief.
Internalized oppression is NOT a limiting belief. It is a form of psychological manipulation we all experience growing up in our culture.
For women of color, oppressive conditioning tells us we are inferior in every way, from physical features to our intellect and spirituality.
For white people, the psychological manipulation looks like internalized dominance. It leads them to believe that their culture, looks, and intellect are superior in every way. This, in turn, breeds ignorance, disregard for other cultures, blindness to their privilege, and the rejection of policies and programs that might benefit them just to continue the feeling of dominance over other groups.
Internalized oppression is why many women of color struggle with:
Doubting our abilities and qualifications and feeling the need to prove ourselves constantly;
Feeling like we don't belong in our professional roles and fear being exposed as frauds;
Learning how to thrive in a world that continually dismisses us and erases our achievements;
Resisting respectability politics that dictate how to look and act to be considered “acceptable” and “appropriate;”
Feeling like we’re not worthy of our dreams unless we do everything 100% perfectly (according to someone else’s standards); and
Envisioning and creating success without losing our minds, compromising our health, or feeling like we’re selling out.
That’s a lot to contend with. And lumping those concerns in with limiting beliefs is not only dismissive, it’s also inaccurate.
Oppression cannot be self-remedied because it’s not self-generated. It’s an ongoing factor in the lives of every woman of color. We cannot change it on our own. We can only grapple with the effects.
So, effective coaching for women of color necessarily must involve a recognition of the oppression we face and a process for deconstructing the ongoing belief patterns that persist as a result. Ignoring this fact in coaching makes us feel personally responsible for things that are a societal responsibility.
We can’t manifest our way out of a societal problem, but coaching can help us to separate our worth from the tools of oppression when they come up.
That can only happen, of course, if coaches are willing to go there with their clients and truly do the work too.
In power and solidarity,
Toya