You Deserve Joy. Not Just Rest, But Real Joy.

Dear Worthy Woman,

There is a newish trend on the socials called the morning shed.

This is a nighttime “beauty” routine where people essentially mummify themselves with multiple skincare products, devices, and accessories (think overnight masks, chin-sculpting bands, and breathing strips) all in pursuit of waking up looking effortlessly radiant.

The premise? Layer enough products on your face and body before bed, and you'll emerge from sleep looking like you've had a professional glow-up.

Performative Self-Care Isn’t Self-Care

If you've been following my work for a while, you know why I think this trend is deeply problematic.

It reinforces the toxic notion that a woman's value lies in her appearance and that even our sleep must be productive, optimized, and performance-driven.

As Dr. Phillippa Diedrichs, a body image expert, points out, when beauty routines become "intricate, time-consuming, and dependent on costly products, they can create feelings of inadequacy" and reinforce "harmful beauty ideals that equate self-worth with outward appearance."

This isn't self-care. It's self-optimization disguised as wellness. Real self-care doesn't require you to perform femininity while you sleep or invest in expensive gadgets to prove your worth.

Joy: What We Actually Need

What we actually need isn't another routine to perfect or product to purchase. We need joy.

Not just rest, though that's important, but genuine joy that comes from living authentically and pursuing what truly matters to us.

This is what joy looks like:

I'm writing this from Paris, where earlier today my husband, our daughter, and I danced together at the Atelier de Lumiéres immersive experience. Lights beamed, color swirled, and as the music played, my Baby Girl decided she wanted to dance. So we moved, laughed, and created a memory that will last forever.

That is joy.

It was a moment I’ll never forget because it represented everything I've worked to build: a life aligned with my values, relationships rooted in love rather than performance, and the freedom to be fully present without constantly optimizing myself.

The Journey From Performance to Joy

This joy didn't happen overnight. I used to believe my worth was tied to my achievements, that I had to be twice as good to get half as much, that rest was laziness and vulnerability was weakness. I spent years trying to optimize my way to happiness through degrees, credentials, workout routines, and productivity hacks.

But transformation came when I did the inner work of reclaiming my worth and the outer leadership work that aligned with it.

When I learned to: (1) clarify what I actually wanted (not what I thought was possible), (2) unhook my self-worth from outcomes, (3) understand how internalized oppression was driving my perfectionism, (4) develop action plans that honored my humanity, and (5) cultivate relationships where I could be authentically myself, everything changed.

Your Worthy Work Awaits

If you're tired of performing your way through life, whether through morning sheds or constantly proving your value, I want to invite you into a space of realignment.

My one-on-one coaching program, Your Worthy Work: Transforming Your Life and Career, is designed for women of color who are ready to rewrite the narrative that says you must shrink, conform, or optimize yourself into worthiness.

Through our 5-phase process, we'll work together to:

• Clarify what you genuinely desire (not just what seems practical)

• Unhook your self-worth from your achievements

• Recognize how societal messages have shaped your beliefs

• Create action plans that honor your humanity

• Build fierce relationships that sustain your authentic self

The Real Glow-Up

The real glow-up isn't what happens to your face overnight. It's what happens to your life when you stop performing worthiness and start living it. When you choose joy over optimization. When you trust that you deserve the life you're dreaming of, not because you've perfected yourself, but because you're beautifully, imperfectly human.

Ready to begin your worthy work? I'm here to guide you through it. Click the button below to book a call and learn more.

In power and joy,

Toya

P.S. Here’s that link again: