Last week, I wrote about the difference between limiting beliefs, deeply held beliefs that people hold out to be the absolute truth about themselves, and internalized oppression—negative stereotypes, attitudes, and opinions held by a dominant culture about a marginalized group that members of that group then internalize.
This week, I want to dive deeper and talk about ways to combat internalized oppression using coaching tools.
While you can readily find strategies to overcome limiting beliefs (just do a search on Google), there is a dire need for tangible solutions to help women of color confront internalized oppression.
This is no minor issue because it’s not just about self-esteem or confidence. Internalized oppression goes to the core of our experiences, influencing our daily interactions, perceptions of success, and self-worth.
Picture this.
Client #1: Client #1 comes your way looking for help to secure their next promotion. The only problem is they’re petrified of public speaking. They know their next role will require them to give speeches and interviews, but the memory of a presentation gone wrong still haunts them.
They vividly recall the malfunctioning PowerPoint, their sweat-stained suit, and stuttering sentences. Because of that experience, they’ve concluded they’re “just no good at public speaking” and have avoided it like the plague ever since.
Now, let’s shift the scene.
Client #2: Client #2 is a hardworking black Jamaican woman. She comes to you because she is trapped in a cycle of burnout. She gets a job, is motivated and excited to perform her duties, and then finds herself exhausted and unable to think a few months later.
She’s not just battling demanding job duties, though. She is burnt out because she overworks and overdoes to compensate for a deeply ingrained message that “all black people are lazy.” She doesn’t want people to think that this message is accurate or that she is lazy. So, she burns herself out to prove them wrong.
She has internalized the belief to the point where overworking is her automatic and natural response in work situations. She doesn’t know how to stop overcompensating and fears the consequences if she does.
Client #1 is quite literary limiting their ability to get promoted. So, a typical coaching plan for this issue might involve reflective questions and journaling to uncover all their limiting beliefs, exercises to reframe that mindset, and a plan to work through any resistance or fear of failure.
For Client # 2, addressing her burnout like a limiting belief is like bringing a knife to a gunfight.
When you confront internalized oppression, you are defying a system. So surface-level solutions just aren’t going to cut it.
Instead, she will need a deeper understanding of this internalized message and its impact on her life and community. Given the consistent reinforcement of this message in our culture, she will also need support in developing an ongoing toolkit that includes cultural affirmations, community support, effective communication and boundary-setting strategies, and a grasp of the historical roots of this stereotype. On top of that, she may have her own limiting beliefs to sort through, too.
That’s the difference between reframing a belief and defying a system. It requires more support if you really want to see a change.
Life Update
A friend reminded me a while ago to take pictures of myself. As a new mom, you get consumed with documenting every moment of your child’s life, and you forget that maybe your life is worth documenting, too.
So this is me, in my office this week, writing. I’m always writing. (Did I mention I am writing a book? :))
I am eternally grateful for this moment that’s worth documenting. Perhaps take a minute to document your moments too.
In power and solidarity,
Toya
Spot on. When I work with clients on giving and receding feedback in the workplace I always have to be watching for this-- what if the feedback is coming from stereotype or other racist belief systems? We have to unpack those possibilities first, watch for patterns, understand the environment, then decide how to act on the feedback. Love these distinctions you draw out