The #ComplimentABlackWoman Challenge
The #ComplimentABlackWoman Challenge for Black History Month is in full swing on social media. For the entire 29 days of February or some portion thereof, participants pledge to compliment a Black woman with their words, money (by purchasing from a Black woman-owned business or donating to a cause focused on Black women), or time (by offering their time or services for free). It’s free and fun.
One of the most extraordinary things about writing this newsletter every week is that, now and then, I write something that really touches a nerve, and I get to hear from some of you. That's what happened with last week's post.
So, I want to start this week by saying thank you for your encouragement and support. The weight of challenging circumstances becomes much easier to bear when done in community. I don't take that support for granted, and I appreciate you taking the time to read this newsletter.
What's Next
Now that my plans have drastically shifted, I spent much of last week trying to decide what's next —
Should I start studying earlier for the next Bar exam?
What about focusing on client marketing?
What about my book proposal? Should I focus all of my efforts on getting published?
How do I really want to spend the next few months of my work life?
Like all my seemingly difficult decisions, it took inspiration from an unexpected source to show me the path.
Beyoncé Wins The Super Bowl
The biggest winner of Super Bowl 2024 wasn't the Kansas City Chiefs; it was Beyoncé.
As I'm sure you know by now, Beyonce premiered a partnership with Verizon (read: $$$$ for Bey), her forthcoming country album, Renaissance Act II, and two singles from the album 16 Carriages and Texas Hold 'em while sitting in her box at the game in couture cowgirl fashion that somehow managed to be undeniably country without looking like the homemade country bedazzling we're used to seeing.
There have been so many articles about how baller this move was, but as a business owner, I appreciate this succinct take. What draws me in about this story isn't what Beyonce did. It's what Beyonce didn't do.
Beyoncé's first country song, Daddy's Lessons, actually came out eight years ago. You'll recall all of the racist upheaval because she dared to perform the song at the Country Music Awards that year. In the intervening years, Beyoncé continued to create and produce culture-shifting music, performances, and videos, but she didn't put out a country album until now.
It's not because the Beyoncé of eight years ago didn't have the music or business talent to make a country music debut. Taking the next step toward a goal outside our comfort zone is never about the actual step. It's about having the confidence that you are the person who can and will make your next audacious goal a reality.
The Law Firm
When I started my solo firm in 2015, I ruminated about leaving my job to do it for almost five years before I did.
Along the way, I halfheartedly applied and interviewed for positions I knew would leave me feeling the same discontentment in a different building. I complained to my friends and anyone who would listen about my pay, supervisors, and feeling overworked, underpaid, and undervalued. I gossiped about what was right, wrong, and should have been done "better" in the office.
Despite all of this, I stayed. I told myself it was because I didn't know what I wanted to do next. The truth I wasn't admitting to myself was that I didn't believe I was smart enough or good enough to start my own law practice.
Instead of focusing on what to do next, I should have been building the confidence I needed to believe I was the person to make my next goal a reality.
Confidence Preceeds Action
Coaching has taught me that inaction is never about not knowing what to do next. Beyoncé probably knew eight years ago that she wanted to do a country album, but with all the backlash from releasing one single, perhaps she doubted herself like I did in 2015.
You can only move from inaction to action once you have the confidence that you can navigate all of the successes and failures that will happen along the way to your goal.
Self-compassionate confidence helps you to try new ideas and actions. It enables you to get up if you stumble and fall. It means you'll put out that country album and wear a cowboy hat because you can do whatever you want when you are ready.
So, what's next for me?
It's honing in on the confidence of the country music artist Beyoncé so that I can take steps toward the next goal I really want.
What's your next move?
In power and solidarity,
Toya